The Second Agreement

Even if a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give correspond to the agreements they have in their own minds. If you take things personally, you make easy prey for these predators, the black magicians. They can easily tie you up with a small opinion and feed you with whatever they want, and because you take it personally, you eat it. Look at last week`s article that deals with how you can apply the first agreement to friendship. Then come back and learn more about the second agreement. If you respect this agreement, you can go around the world with an open heart and no one can violate you. You can say, “I love you” without fear of being ridiculed or rejected. You can ask for what you need. I think all four are equally important, this agreement has had the biggest impact on my life. It is overcrowded in our minds, with the opinions of others, and with our judgments about ourselves. It is a real problem if our internal dialogue becomes too noisy, overcrowded and negative. Our overcrowded mind becomes a huge market of agreements that do not all coincide; Too many voices speak at the same time and tarnish our thinking.

This is the second chord of Don Miguel Ruiz`s classic, the four chords. The second agreement simply says: don`t take anything personally. This agreement is so difficult for me. I have always considered myself strong and confident, authentic and confident. Lately, when I really tried to get out of my head and realized how scared I was of disappointing someone. I try to show people what they want in me, just to be the parts of me that I think they accept them well and accept them well, and that they hide the real me. Of course, this is because I take almost everything personally. It opens your eyes to see that. And yet, I don`t know how to change it.

How can I believe that I am good enough, even wonderful? And if it were me, others wouldn`t see that? I feel like when I tell myself that I was only inserting things — another of my mental tricks. I want to feel good, but I really don`t know how. Not in a real way. Before, I thought I could prove it to others, and especially to myself, by doing marathons, getting my PhD, having the “perfect” life (marriage, children, career, travel, etc.), being a loyal and thoughtful friend and helping the less fortunate. Basically, trying to be perfect. It`s not working. I still think I don`t care, I feel like a scammer, I`m afraid of being a disappointment for everyone. So, basically. I still have a long way to go. These first two chords free you from many of the bad arrangements that have disrupted your life.

Finally, reckless words combined with severely offended people will inevitably bring drama. Don`t take anything personally. This is the second chord of Don Miguel Ruiz`s classic, the four chords. I need a memory today. So I open his book to this chapter and read: But if we start accepting the first agreement, “Be blameless with your word,” we become happier and more peaceful, more control. If we have more internal strength, it will be easier to adopt this second agreement. The second agreement invites us to recognize that we all work through the perspective of our own unique experiences..

About the Author